Nostalgic For Love
by BeyondBirthday'sBestie
Summary: When Spinner falls in love with Cassie, and Cassie falls in love with Ellie, and Cassie is Jay's cousin, who falls in love with Amber, who can't live without the rush of danger...wait, what? SpinnerxOCxEllie JayxOC
1. We Are Golden

**A/N: FIRST. DEGRASSI. FIC. EVER! Everyone, be proud! This is epic! WONDEROUS. BIG WORDS!! ANDZACHARYQUINTOWASINCANADA!!!!! *cough* So, we have some weird pairings for yal today. We have SpinnerxCassie(not Steele)xEllie and then we have...*dun dun DUN* AmberxJay. Wonderful. ENJOY, peoples. **

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_**Nostalgic For Love**_

_"Get Back, Back, Back To Where We Lasted, Just Like I Imagine. _

_I Could Never Feel This Way._

_So Get Back, Back, Back To The Disaster,_

_My Heart's Beating Faster_

_Holding Onto To Feel The Same,"--Sugarcult, 'Memory'_

The halls of Degrassi began to fill with juniors and seniors that took the building by swarm. Familiar faces passed Cassie as she raced for her locker on the other side of the building. It was just her luck that her locker was directly next to Technology, which was her first period class. She smiled as she ran, breathing in the same air that Ellie Nash had once breathed. Cassie made her way to the locker numbered, '674' before fiddling with the combination. Within seconds, Cassie was able to collect all of her books with a sense of relief. For once, she was able to get to school on time, not have a run-in with Mrs. Hatzilakos, and she had even gotten the homework done for Mr. Simpson's class. She felt a sense of pride fill her stomach and with that, she slammed her locker only to have a certain someone leaning against the very next locker.

"Ah. Spinner. And to think, this morning was actually going great until I had to see your face," _It's such a lie...why do you do this to the poor kid? _Spinner grinned, running his hands through his hair.

"Oh, don't pretend like you don't love me," The older boy turned on his heel, following Cassie down the hall that was filled with blue and yellow, "So, Jay was telling me the other day about when you both were nine and he--" Cassie spun around, hair flying.

"What?!" She screeched, making Spinner laugh heartily.

"Oh yes. Jason Hogart is a story teller, he is...so, if you would, the Valentine's Dance is only a few weeks away..." The two continued to walk until Spinner had ended his sentence. That was when Cassie bit her lip and turned on her heel, glaring at the taller boy infront of her. She folded her arms across her well-defined chest and began to burn him with her eyes.

"So you're going to blackmail me into going to the dance with you? Gavin Reginald, this is a sad moment in the history of your existence, is it not? Having to blackmail me into going out with you...pitiful..." Even though Cassie's brain was telling her to jump into his arms and kiss his perfectly-sculpted face, she resisted the urge when the perfect imaged flashed before her eyes. Cassie smiled brightly, bopping Spinner's nose playfully.

"Sorry, hun. I've got another hotty on my mind right now. Give me a call when you grow up, though, okay?" She sang sweetly before running off into a crowd of juniors, desperatly hoping that rejecting Spinner would win her the chance at Ellie...

"Ellinor! Ellie! Nassshhh!" Cassie called out to the red-head who was briskly walking to gym. She turned, giving a confused expression at first before her frown turned into a grin. She gave a cute little wave at the panting girl who was racing towards her.

"Ellie! I'm glad I caught up to you before you got to gym!" Cassie said breathily. Her cheeks were tinted red from her jog, making Ellie giggle. Her outfit almost killed Cassie, her mini skirt only reaching the mid-part of her thigh, her lacy black top showing off her curves, and her red hair cascaded down her shoulders. She looked like an angel...

"Yeah...? Why, what's up?" Cassie caught her breath before replying.

"I have this really awesome idea for a mural I want to paint on the side of The Dot,"

"Really? What exactly were you thinking?"

"I was thinking...color. Lots of color. And I want it symbolize the peace that we forget about in our everday lives that we can only discover inside our friends and the ones we love," The deeper meaning of the whole thing was simple: I love you, Ellie Nash. But that was something so deep, even Ellie couldn't see it.

"Wow...that is...wow. How'd you come up with something so...deep and mysterious?" Ellie wiggled her eyebrows. Cassie giggled.

"Oh, you know. I get by with a little help from my friends," Ellie made a face.

"The Beatles?"

"You know it."

"You have got to be the coolest person this side of Ontario..." The bell gave out a screechy-ring, "I've gotta go...but, I'll see you in Simpson's class, okay?" The redhead began to make her way towards the gym. Cassie nodded and waved.

"See you later...! ...I love you..." But Ellie never got to hear the last part...

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**So, that was chapter one. Chapter two is for MEH. Review...? *puppy dog eyes.***


	2. Into The Rush

**A/N: An UPDATE?! What's this? Hehe. This is for you, my honey-bear. It's DEGRASSI TIME, BETCH!**

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_**Nostalgic For Love**_

_**--**_

_**--**_

__"Well, Amber, looks like a mighty fine job on that exhaust," Jay Hogart made his way towards the old Toyota that Amber had just been working on rather diligently. She smiled, a grease stain on her cheek that was shiny and black. She reached for a cloth to wipe her hands in. They were still sticky and darkened, but she could manage that way. She reached up and wiped the sweat from her brow and let out a breath.

"Yeah, well...that old guy better be happy with the amazing job I did...his exhaust was blown _out_!" She exclaimed, placing the cloth back in it's normal place. Jay rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm around Amber's shoulders and began to walk through the mess of people, mechanics and customers both.

"Oh, Amber...how do I love thee? Let me count the ways," He began chanting, raising one free hand into the air dramatically. Amber chuckled, shaking Jay from shoulders.

"Okay, Romeo, what do you want now? Seeing as how I just finished that Camaro even though it was _your _job I think I deserve an answer," Amber shoved her index finger into Jay's well-toned chest. The older boy grinned, pulling off his cap and placed it on top of Amber's head with ease.

"Well...I was wondering if you would give me the honor of escorting you to my lovely home," Amber twisted the ball cap to the side, the bill pointing to the right. She put her finger to her chin and smiled mischeviously.

"Jason Hogart, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Haven't I done that already?" He smirked intoxicatingly. He wrapped his arms around her waist in the midst of a bunch of grease monkeys and pulled her in close enough that she could smell the faint scent of cologne. There was something else, something different that she could barely make out, but that thought vanished.

"Actually...there's something I would like to show you. And no, it does not involve any part of my anatomy," He said pointedly, making her giggle into his tan overalls. She lifted her head from his chest and watched the way his eyes said no lies and seemed like these perfect orbs that held her captive. She felt her stomach flip-flop for a moment before she was able to complete an answer.

"Okay...I guess. But no funny business, alright Hogart?" Amber demanded, flipping her hair nonchalantly. Jay sighed heavily, pouting like a child. Amber began to walk away, back turned and hair bouncing behind her until Jay called to her.

"Hey, Amber!" She turned.

"Yeah?" Jason kept his smile bright enough for her to see and waved.

"Meet you at five," Amber shook her head and walked away, leaving Jay Hogart to his pounding heart and shaking knees.

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"So, I want to make sure all of you understand this assignment," Mr. Simpson droned on, also bored by his own lesson. Cassie stole a glance at Ellie, before tearing a piece of paper from her notebook. She scrawled on to it a question that she sent over to the next desk while Mr. Simpson's back was turned. Ellie looked down at the paper, gently lifting it and quietly read it to herself. '_My place, today, at 4? I want your opinion on my sketches,' _Ellie pulled out a blue pen and began to scribble down her words, before silently passing it to Cassie.

_'Are you sure? Will Jay be there?'_

_'Nah. He works until 6 normally. It'll be funnnn,'_

_'Alright. Sounds cool. I'll bring my pastels,'_

_'Sweet! Meet me after seventh period,'_

_'Okay. Will do,'_

Cassie's heart was thumping against her ribcage and her face was red. She was going to be alone. With Ellie Nash. The cutest girl in school. If by now, most people in Degrassi hadn't guessed, she was bisexual. Did she get tormented? Yes. Daily. Did she like both genders? Yes. So why was it so hard to choose between them? Even the note in her hand was making her nervous. She barely listened to Mr. Simpson, only dreaming up fantasies about her and Ellie's first kiss...

"--and so then I want you all to--" The bell rang clear and loud, all students dispursing into the halls, ignoring any last words of their teachers. Cassie walked excitedly next to Ellie, holding onto what was the last of her sanity.

"So, what side of the building are you doing this on?" Ellie asked, turning to look into Cassie' blue eyes. Cassie looked up thoughtfully, trying to go deep into her memory.

"I think it's the left side...yeah. That's where Spin told me he wanted it," Ellie giggled.

"Ooooh, so, this is for Mr. Spinner, is it?" She said teasingly, walking side-by-side to Cassie's locker.

"No, it's not. It's for The Dot...and the community. And people who appreciate great art. Not thick-headed, jerkish, muscle-headed boys!" Cassie exclaimed, a sudden build-up of anger in the pit of her stomach. Ellie nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. Spinner's not exactly the 'artsy' or 'romantic' or 'nice' type of guy," Cassie watched Ellie as she walked, compairing her to an angel that glided on the clouds. Her face was this perfect pale color with no blemish or pimple in sight. She was prim and proper but rebellious and edgy at the same time...

"Okay, so, once I get all my stuff, we can head over to me and Jay's place...then maybe once we're done, we can head to The Dot to mark out where everything we want to put on the wall can go...and maybe grab something to eat too," In the middle of Cassie's sentence, Ellie's phone went off buzzing. She put up her index finger, pulling out the small black phone and flipped it open.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Ellie...? Is this Ellie?" A male's voice came over the phone. Ellie laughed, smiling beautifully.

"Um, yes. This is Ellie. Who is this?" She asked sweetly. After a few moments of Ellie's silence, Cassie began to worry and with good reason. Ellie's face had lighten up, then fallen, then she had hung up the phone without another word.

"Hey, Elle, who was that?" Cassie asked, rather worriedly. The redhead shook her head, putting her hand to her mouth. She tried desperatly not to sob but it was too late for that.

"I-I-It was...Craig. It was Craig. H-He's coming back...Cass, I don't think I can do it. I can't come over today...w-we'll have to do this some other time, okay?" She studdered, trying to make her words managable but they just fell off her tongue like ice. Without time for Cassie's response, Ellie had taken off down the hallway, crying her perfect eyes out. Cassie sighed, afraid of chasing after her, no matter how much she loved her. _'So much for first kiss...' _Cassie swung her bag over her shoulders, stomping down the hallway with a vendetta on her conscience. '_The next time I see Craig Manning, he'll wish he was never born' _

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**Cliff hangers, right? Ha. Deal with it. Warning: the next chapter will contain lesbians, violence, and drugs. Big whoop. **


	3. This Hurts More Than You'll Know

**A/N: Because I'm going to punch the moon someday. Be Proud of me. **

**"And I'll be fine, you'll be fine, is this fine? I'm not fine. Give me pieces, give me things to stay awake,"--All American Rejects**

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_**Nostalgic For Love**_

_**--**_

_**--**_

__Stop.

Try to breathe.

Try to understand.

Try to be calm.

Stop.

Stop the hurt.

Stop the voices.

Stop the rage.

Stop.

Scream...

The most that Cassie could remember about that moment was Craig's voice. His voice that still lingured in her mind as she hypervenilated on her cold, dirty bed. She also vaguely remembered Ellie's scream, but that was something she was willing to try and block from her memory. She winced at the very thought of that scream...the blood...the shakiness of her knees...the voices...

"God, just STOP!" Her fingernails dug deeply into the flesh on her calves as she rocked back and forth, listening to her own insane pants. Her mouth felt dry but she continued to heave all the air in the room into her lungs. Craig Manning, the source of all things horrible. He ruined it. Ruined what she and Ellie had. He just had to come back around with his pretty boy hair and his rockstar voice and his silky smooth charm...

"IHATETHISIHATETHISIHATETHIS!" The shattering of glass broke the spell and she stopped breathing. She stopped thinking. She stopped. And she remembered...

_**--**_

___"Oh...my...god...Craig," Ellie placed a hand on her mouth, than the other. Craig stood at the bottom of the cement Degrassi steps, smiling brightly, his guitar slung on his back. Ellie smiled, gracefully jumping down the stairs into his arms. He spun her around, laughing as if he hadn't seen her in fifty years. _

_ "Ellie Nash, the cutest girl in school is even looking at me? After all I did?" _

_ "Craig...I just can't believe that...y-you...my mom and...I just...Craig," Ellie sobbed into his jacket, Craig rubbing her back gently. _

_ "Shh...it's okay, Ellie. The drugs, the lying...it's all over now. I promise you that," He nuzzled his face into her neck, whispering gently into her pale flesh, "When I said I loved you, it wasn't a lie. I do. I do love you Ellie," Craig's voice was like a honey, smooth and sweet, sticking to you and linguring. Well, maybe not to Cassie..._

_ "Okay, so you've GOT to promise me that you'll finish the rest of the history report," Marco walked side-by-side with Cassie, both exiting the school and walking out into the bright sunshine that glittered down. Cassie laughed, nudging Marco with her shoulder. _

_ "Come on, it's me, Marco! Of course I'll get it done and double-checked within a matter of ten minutes!" _

_ "That's the part that worries me..." Marco groaned, walking ahead of Cassie even though she had stopped dead at the top of the steps. Marco turned back to look at her, seeing the sudden hatred that filled her hazel eyes. His own eyes responded with the infamous 'What's going on' look, but within a matter of seconds, he knew exactly what was going on, and what was about to happen. The shorter boy sprinted up the steps, standing in Cassie's way. _

_ "Cass, don't do this. Please. If your probation officer finds out about this, he's going to---" Cassie pushed past Marco, taking a few steps towards Craig's doom. _

_ "Don't worry, Marco. I'm only gonna break his face," Cassie strode, tall and defiant. She shoved and pushed past the group of students that were now surrounding the two. Cassie could feel herself shaking from all the rage built up, bottled. The moment Craig Manning set his eyes on her, there was going to be trouble. The older boy grinned, pulling his arms from Ellie's waist and gave his best sugar-coated greeting. _

_ "Hey, Cassie, it's been so lon---" She didn't even think twice. When she saw his arms on Ellie, that was when his life ended. She gave the blow right to his perfect freaking jaw and heard the cracking of his ever-so-awesome bones. He never even had time to recooperate because the younger girl had taken that chance to jump ontop of him, bruising his pretty-little face with her fist. She couldn't quite remember how many hits she got on him, but it had to be more than twenty. Soon enough, Craig's face was nothing but red, bloody flesh and broken, bent bones just jutted from his skin. She stood, feeling ever bit of negative energy released from her body. It took a few moments to register one factor she had completely forgotten about: Ellie. She turned her head for a split second, seeing every emotion Ellie felt displayed on her face. _

_ "Ellie..." Cassie whispered, but it was too late. _

_ "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ellie screamed, rushing over to the bloodied mess on the cracked sidewalk. She kneeled down by him as he coughed up more sticky crimson. _

_ "I-I-I only...h-he...Ellie, don't you remember what he did to you? How he lied to you?! I was only giving that ass what he deserves!" Cassie screeched back, obviously terrified. Ellie stood, marching straight up to the taller girl and said defiantly: _

_ "You know what, Cassie? If anyone's an ass, it's you," Ellie pointed her finger to Cassie's chest, tears soon following. _

_ "E...El....Ellllliiieee...." Between coughs and spurts of blood, Craig managed to call out to the redhead. She made an immediate turn, rushing to his side. Cassie could feel her knees shaking violently, her entire body pale. She felt like all the blood from her body was gone, on the ground with the rest of Craig's blood. Marco stepped up to her, but Cassie could say nothing. So, with the obvious chance of someone calling the cops and her probation officer turning the corner to take her away from Degrassi, she ran. She ran faster and faster, Ellie's screams slowly drowning out. _

_**--**_

__Cassie layed sideways on her bed, her fingers still covered in dried Craig blood. She felt dead. Absolutely dead. Any minute now, Officer Hempton would come banging on the door, demanding that she come downtown to explain what would compel(sp?) her to nearly kill another human being. But, instead of going through all that mess, Cassie shook away those thoughts and reached for the cheap, plastic piece of junk that Jay called a 'phone'. She swiftly punched in Spinner's cellphone number and waited impatiently for him to answer. The very sound of his voice caused her to melt.

"Hello, this is the Spinster,"

"Hey, Gavin, it's me. Look, I need something," Cassie's fingertips shook.

"Yeeaaahhh...and is that some Spinner loving? Spinster lovin, that is?" Cassie sighed rather loudly.

"I need some _stuff_. Something. Anything to pick me up," Spinner began to laugh heartily.

"Ah, yes. The depression after the storm. I heard about what you did to Manning on _school grounds. _Smooth move, there. What will your boyfriend, Officer Hempton think?"

"Spin, please? I don't need this from you right now. I just need...maybe some pot? Mara?" Cassie began to sound more impatient by the second, her heart going off like an AK-47.

"Yeah, okay. I just got some fresh a day ago. Come on over," Spinner said lazily, as if smoking pot was the most boring thing in the world. Cassie smiled for the first time in a few hours and nodded.

"Thanks, Spin. You're the best," Cassie pressed 'end' and hopped up from her nasty old bed, throwing herself at her dresser. She pulled out a black tank-top and a pair of red skinny jeans. She found her favorite perfume and spritzed it on herself. She felt blood pump through her system once more, the vivid feeling of being alive coursing through her veins. She felt happy, and maybe the drugs could make her feel just a little bit more human.

The only bad thing was...

Ellie Nash was nowhere to be found in Cassie's thoughts...

And Spinner started to take over.

_**--**_

_**--**_

_**--**_

"Jay!" Amber giggled as Jay Hogart's cold, mechanic hands covered her eyes as they made their way into his tiny, dirty apartment. Amber could smell the odor that came from day-old pizza boxes and discarded takeout food laying around. They moved right past all of that, into a dark room where the heavy smell of something new invaded Amber's nose. She felt tingly inside, her face flushed. Jay smiled, releasing his hands from her eyes. She was presented with a tiny bed and two bags of white powder. Amber tilted her head, looking rather confused by the entire thing.

"Um...Jay? What's this...?" Amber reached out, poking the bag as if it were a new species of plant. Jay took her hand, leading her deeper into the darkness.

"This, my dearest, is a bag of heaven," The older boy announced, grabbing the bag and setting it on the floor. He opened it rather carefully, then leaned his head forward and stuck his nose directly into the opening of the bag. He breathed it in, sighing.

"Ah, yes. The best bag of heaven..." He reached for a large piece of paper and a lighter, his entire body shaking furiously as he did so. Amber began to felt the blood drain from her face. The obvious answer to what he was doing was there on her tongue, but she refused to say it outloud.

"Jay...please tell me you didn't bring me back to your stupid apartment to make me do...do...drugs," Amber tried to sound disgusted, but Jay heard none of it. Instead, he took a big puff and took her hands into his.

"Do you remember that scumbag who came in a few weeks ago, the one who said you did a horrible job on his muffler? Or how about that ex-boyfriend who called you a slut? This stuff right here...it makes the pain all go away...everything is fine and dandy. Nothing hurts. It's numb...but a good kind of numb..." His voice sounded hollow and distant, which made Amber want to cry. She glanced down at the bag and the paper, then bravely took each into her hands.

"...Okay...but you have to promise that this stuff...it'll make all of it go away...every bit of it," she said pointedly. The very high Jay placed his hand on his heart and closed his eyes drowzily.

"Scouts honoorr," he slurred, laughing loudly as if he had just heard the world's funniest joke. He giggled to hysterics, which made Amber want it more. She wanted to be free...she wanted the adrenaline rush. She wanted all the pain to stop...

And it did.

She floated high above the world, happy and together.

Nothing lonely.

Nothing broken.

And the world was bright and cheery...why couldn't it be like this forever...?

* * *

Happy freakin' day, hono. YOU WILL WRITE ME SOMETHING FOR THIS. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT. WITH L. AND THE EARLY NOVEMBER. SO CALL ME. CHILD. I LOVE YOU.


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